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Lies After Midnight ... July 02, 2004
been working with a few karate stances and various basic moves these last few weeks. lucky me, i found a lesson plan online and it's really bringing back everything i knew when i was taking lessons as a child. i can feel myself getting mentally and physically stronger as i go. i mean, it makes me forget that i'm such a loser for at least a good hour and a half every day. it makes me have little flashes of memory from when i knew what it was like to really be able to kick ass.
might be something to know considering the amount of time i spend lurking around town after midnight. it's not that i've ever felt i have any reason to fear my fellow night walkers.
i just love the night. it's so sleek. the empty streets, the moon, the silence. darkness hides the flaws that you see in sunlight. everything seems so ideal with the city lights casting my shadow behind me.
i can always feel them slinking away as i come close. they hear my echoing steps and i see them veer around the next corner and crouch in the dark to watch me pass. sometimes they've got a cigarette and i can see them pretend to stop and take a puff so they can eye me from the shadows. maybe they can sense i'm at home in the dark and without fear. i think the reason none of us ever does anything to one another is that we both know that there is no point. they know, deep down, that they are harmless, and hence, unless i do something to indicate otherwise, they have to assume i am equally harmless. just a regular person with a bad habit like so many other people.
i guess i just want to make myself into what i sometimes pretend to be. no more will i be scary looking but empty. no more lying after midnight. i'm not kidding anymore, little ones.
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