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Underwear, The Silent Killer ... June 7, 2004
underwear did not sink the titanic, but they have sunk me. bought expensive underwear because i was tired of seeing stained underwear full of holes. now i can't pay rent. how ironic. my poor-ass underwear that i owned because i really couldn't afford to buy more caused me to desire expensive undies so much that i spent my money on expensive undies that made me even poorer.
i guess since i'm not the titanic, i don't need something as big as an iceberg to come along and put a big hole in my side. still, wouldn't it have been funny if something so mundane as a pair of slinky underpants were responsible for the sinking of the titanic? like the captain was distracted for just a second by some rich woman's thong peeking out of the top of her skirt, and he didn't see the iceberg coming to put his boat on the bottom of the ocean. all because of some underwear, he had to go down with his ship. if anything, i want to be the woman wearing the thong as the ship goes down. perhaps this explains why i bought the underwear.
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