M
Y
S
T
I
C��
T
A
C
O��
S
T
A
N
D
Shit Bath ... June 6, 2004
i needed stimulants. you don't understand. without my caffiene, I am forced to sleep. I am trying to give that shit up for something more productive. like consciousness. so i ran out the other day, and today I convinced the roommate to take me to the store. he acted reluctant. guilt trip time. I leaned on the counter. I told him sadly that since it was I that was without car, it was his perogative. he's such a sucker. soon we were off to the store. about thirty seconds into the trip, he starts telling me a story about his intestines. no, about the fact that he hasn't shit right since highschool. about his hemriods. I am just sitting there, wondering what the fuck and thinking that this is something I would prefer to forget. then he tells me that he sometimes has to drink, as he put it, "ass loads" of this stuff that makes you poo. he says the reason he didn't want to drive me is because he had just taken some and it was starting to take effect. he was squirming as he said this. he was complaining about having to go to a store so far away from home. all the sudden he jumps a little in his seat. he pulls the car over, rushes into this restaurant. nay, waddles really fast into this restaurant. i am laughing so hard at this point. the rest of the ride there and back he spent telling me of how he couldn't get it to flush down. how it was the biggest crap he ever took in his life. how he feels sorry for the restaurant worker who will now have to spend half an hour shoveling out the toilet before they can clean it. he tells me how he woke up during his asshole surgery. how they had a machine up his ass. how a combination of drugs and asshole-o-scope made it feel like he was taking the biggest crap ever, but it was coming out sideways. and the clenching...oh the clenching. i had my caffiene. i was happy, but thanks to my vivid imagination, my roommate's shit-encrusted story and accompanying poopy dance, it almost seems like i have spent the night rolling my poor brain in a puddle of quickly expelled excrement. sometimes that's how life goes: a quick mental wallowing in a puddle of steaming roommate poo, followed by a couple hours watching anime, a cold shower, and a round of internet socializing.
- previous - next -
- the old -
profile -
leave a note -
contact -
DiaryLand makes me put this link here.
Please click on it before they cut off another one of my fingers!