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She Breaths Out Smoke Even When She's Not Smoking ... September 10, 2004
today was wierd. i am waiting for my DXM to hurry up and get here. i am wondering if i need it. i swear to fucking god i hallucinated like a mofo today for absolutely no reason. at one point i was sitting in the library in my usual seat next to this window on the fourth floor. i looked up and saw my own reflection. then the next thing i knew, i was flying eyes first at my own image. i was inside my head. i could see all the successive layers of tissue and bone and grey matter as i passed though. orange sparks were all around the edges of my vision. my brain, it was all squirmy, as if my head was full of pinkish grey tapeworms. i burst out the other side, through the glass, and back into the other me that was quietly waiting for my return with her back to me as she sat in an armchair facing a window in the library.
later, my head suddenly decided that it was full of dice. i could feel them rattling in there when i moved. before i realized what was going on, i was afraid other people might hear it. at one point an image of a cross section of my head featuring two giant red dice rattling around within my cranium even flashed before my eyes.
yeah, i should probably see a psychiatrist but we both know i won't for a myriad of reasons.
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