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Eleventeen Recipes for Hats ... Januvember 32, 2012
i am feeling decidedly freaky in the head this evening, thanks to the irresponsible prick-in-a-truck who tailgated my tiny little Prism for over a fuckin hour, reflecting his brights into my rear view mirror and from there, directly into my eyes. one of these days, ONE OF THESE DAYS i am going to invest in the brightest flashlight i can afford. i'm going to teach those tailgaiting truckoids what's it's like to be a small, low to the ground driver of a passenger car who has to deal with a pair of truck headlights that are mere inches from the trunk lid, blinding them with eyeball searing lights. i'm going to turn round and give them a blast of lights. i hope one of them swerves off the road and does a double truck-summersault into a field somewhere.
enough ranting.
i did not come here to rant.
no wait...
yes i did. but now i have lost my line of thought.
okay then. um...TO THE BAT CAVE!
but before i go, let me keep up my tradition and say something pointless. or stupid. yeah, that's what i usually do.
some say that they think therefore they are. i say, i DON'T think therefore i am not. if i am anything, i am the result of an unimaginably complex and enduring series of chemical reactions. even thoughts are basically a result of chemical reactions. i don't control them, they control me. it's not so bad, being nothing more than a pile of reacting molecules, atoms, quarks and what-ever-the-hell-they-call-ems. if i were religious, i could blame my misbehavior on the temptations of some ficticious ultimate evil character out of human myth. instead, I get to blame MY misbehaviors on the fact that i am not really any more conscious than a fire, or a slowly decomposing apple. either way, whether I blame a "satan" or those darned atoms for my crimes, it hardly matters in the long run. my only crime is not thinking. and, according to modern science, this cannot be helped considering the nature of this beast, composed of atoms as it is. these atoms, reacting as predicted, are the same as the idea previously accepted in some circles, they called it "fate". they say you can't escape your fate. either that or they say you can't escape the atoms, reacting as the scientists have predicted beforehand. you are doomed to either act out the script the gods handed the human race at the beginning of time, or to act out the chemical reactions set in motion at the beginning of time. don't like it? that's all part of the previously decided series of events, too. don't feel bad. if you have no free will, if you are either a puppet of the gods or a pile of mathematically definable chemical reactions, you will never be able to make the decision to remove yourself from the yoke of "fate". even if you THINK you have decided as such, that is merely your fate to decide this.
you are a slave to your physical existance.
your only real hope to achieve real consciousness and free will is to DESTROY order. destory, and prevent those pre-ordained chemical reactions, those divine commands that some call "fate".
then again. maybe it is your fate to be a destroyer. maybe, despite all your efforts, the chemical reactions are going ahead in an orderly fashion and you are just another part, another stage in the massive, mind-bogglingly long and complex reaction that has been going on since everything began. whenever that was.
okay. see how stupid i am? don't you see? please. you must see. it hurts to be so stupid all by myself.
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