M
Y
S
T
I
C��
T
A
C
O��
S
T
A
N
D
Two Parts, No Point ... November 29, 2005
almost makes me feel nostalgic to be posting here two days in a row. i remember those days of madness when i was posting what seemed ten times a day. how could i forget considering they were less than a year ago? i'm not sure that "nostagia" is quite the right emotion for this occasion, but i feel like a completely different person these days. somewhere, deep down, i am pretty sure that mind-bendingly stupid, insane version of myself is still sulking about within the confines of my subconscience. sometimes i feel her banging around in there when i can't sleep, or when i go on another one of my three night tirades of writing. maybe that's why i'm posting more frequently here on d-land again. in the last couple months, my desire to read nearly all the time and then spend the rest of my time sitting at my computer to write has been coming back to me. i've been working with some clay to make little figurines, too. my latest project is going to be a cartoony looking clay model of uncle sam butt-fucking a lady justice type figure. not typically a coffee table friendly sort of item, no, but then you've probably never seen my coffee table. not only that, but i'm drawing and really feeling interested in philosophical thought again. it seems like it's been forever since i've felt so creative.
i think it has a whole lot to do with my purposeful moderation of my drug use. it was probably burning my brain. probably? yeah, it really WAS. also, i think the fact that i have somehow managed to stumble into a social situation like i had never experienced before has helped me a bit. i didn't think it was POSSIBLE to actually feel like i WANT to be in a romantic relationship with anyone. really, until now, i had stuck with whoever i was with because, well, i was already with them. having to explain to people the socially unacceptible truth about what i actually wanted back then (sexual freedom), well, it was simply inconvenient. and i'm lazy. what can i say? but for once, i still feel like i'm doing what i want, i still feel pretty free, and yet it's easy to tell anyone who asks who that guy that keeps following me around is.
- previous - next -
- the old -
profile -
leave a note -
contact -
DiaryLand makes me put this link here.
Please click on it before they cut off another one of my fingers!